Why pay retail, when you can buy wholesale!

Today's
Bonehead Of The Day Award
by Jerry Lerman


Search the OLD archive and see prior, but OLD,  bonehead awards

Not for Boneheads
Everett Kaser Software - Puzzle and logic games to challenge your deductive and thinking abilities. Logic puzzles, tile removal, paint by number (nonograms), and other types of puzzle games.


Below are favorite sites we recommend

The Edge
from the Oregonian.
Just plain hilarious.
Roy Rivenburg's
Not The LA Times
Delightfully creative original humor about our odd world.


Aberrant News

A daily collection of the strangest and most interesting stories
NOT SAFE FOR WORK!



Update: Aug 29, 2010 @  18:25 GMT


Teenager Decides To Pass Police Cruiser At 100 MPH. Watch A Firebird Fly Into Oblivion. Amazingly, He Lived
2 min 14 sec video


This is about what this boy's 1985 black Pontiac Firebird muscle car looked like before he thought it would be cool to overtake a police cruiser at 100 MPH:


This is what this boy's 1985 black Pontiac Firebird muscle car looked like after he thought it would be cool to overtake a police cruiser at 100 MPH:



This is how this boy's 1985 black Pontiac Firebird muscle car went from one state to the other.  This happened in Green County, Ohio, around August 25, 2010. At this moment the driver, 19-year-old Brennan S. Eden from Mason, Ohio,  is in the hospital in critical condition.



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Update: Aug 29, 2010 @  16:55 GMT


Medical Disorder: 2 Docs Deliver Punches Over Whether To Do A Cesarean. Mother & Child Neglected. Go Critical
Police considering criminal charges


A mother, Laura Salpietro of Sicily, and her child, are in critical condition because urgent attention to her delivery gone wrong was delayed by an hour when gynecologist, Vincenzo Benedetto, and maternity unit doctor, Antonio De Vivo, got into a violent fight over whether to deliver the baby by Cesarean; Delivering punches instead of the baby.

Furious Health Minister Ferruccio Fazio said:''This is a very serious matter. Exchanging blows with anyone is unforgivable but especially so when you are a doctor.''

A criminal case has been opened.


The Daily Mail (UK)  29-Aug-10
Click here for the original story

Update: Aug 29, 2010 @  02:02 GMT

Army Vet Who Lost A Leg In Afghanistan Is Denied A Disabled Parking Sticker Because 'He Might Get Better'

Lance Corporal Johno Lee, who lost his leg fighting in Afghanistan, has been thrice denied a disabled parking sticker because the local Nottinghamshire UK County Council believes he might get better. Wait. What?

He has, so far, racked up £800 ($1,240) in fines for parking in a handicapped space on days he uses a wheelchair or has difficulty walking.

When he first applied for the sticker he was advised that he's young and 'may get better.'



The Daily Mail (UK)  27-Aug-10
Click here for the original story

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Update: Aug 29, 2010 @  00:00 GMT

If You Can't Go Under Or Around A Car To Pass It, Why Not Go Over It?
Amazing luck? Or amazing skill? Driver surely gets a passing grade in the driving course


Update: Aug 28, 2010 @  22:04 GMT


In The Nudes Today, My Interest Rates Are Rising
Pro-tip: Display only discretion when your computer monitor faces studio cameras

Found at Bits and Pieces

Update: Aug 28, 2010 @  20:36 GMT

BA Flight Accidentally Announces Plane Will Crash. Hilarity Ensues
or BA announces unexpected increase in plane fears


About 275 passengers flying to Hong Kong from London were struck with terror when a computer voice calmly announced, "This is an emergency. We may shortly need to make an emergency landing on water." The water, in this case, being the North Sea.

Said one passenger, "I can't think of anything worse than being told your plane's about to crash."

BA is blaming the computer, of course. There's a Microsoft joke in here somewhere.


The Daily Mail (UK)  27-Aug-2010
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 25, 2010 @  20:36 GMT

Do You Blog In Philadelphia? Did You Pay Your $50/year Blogger Tax?
And so it begins. A terrible precedent and an affront to your right to free speech. Blog This !

Blog this (while it's still free).

The city of Philadelphia says that if you live in Philadelphia and there is any potential whatsoever that your blog can earn you a cent, either because you post ads or ask for donations, whatever, to perhaps get back some of your Internet expenses, then you must give them $50/year or a $300 lump sum. Hobby or business, it doesn't matter. If you can't possibly get back $50 over your lifetime, it doesn't matter. Pay up. $50/year. They want money from you and they found a way to get it.  Is this $250/year from a typical family?

They say that this is a good thing because it exempts you from taxes on the profit on your blog if it collects up to $100,000. But you and I know that if you get any amount of significant money from your blog, not even approaching $100K, they'll say it isn't a blog and that it's a business and you bought the wrong business license and you owe the taxes and maybe even penalties for buying the wrong sort of business license.  It's a scam and a first step for finding new taxes to fund government that cannot control its own spending. It's too easy for them.

Will there be a State blogger tax? A Federal blogger tax? A tax on how much music you stream? How many videos you watch? The number of Tweets you send? The number of online dates you get? What else are they thinking about? If they can get away with this, they will enact more taxes.

This is a dangerous precedent because every other government is looking at how this plays out. Waiting to see how you react to this. Let the reaction begin!

This is the brainchild of Council members Bill Green at Bill.Greenlee@phila.gov and
Maria Quiñones-Sánchez at
Maria.Q.Sanchez@phila.gov.  Feel free to nicely tell them what you think. It's still tax free.

Blog this! And fight back before it's your local government! This will not be effective unless they receive plenty of email about this. Blog this!

A bit of an update:

Philadelphia is officially saying that this is not a "blog tax." That everyone is freaking over this and wrongly claiming this is a blog tax. We're all crazy and Philadelphia can't understand why anyone is making a big deal about this. Even some professional journalists have picked this up and run with it. That it's simply a business tax. If you do something that potentially earns money, you need a business license regardless of what you do. They hope that by convincing people to accept that a hobby is a business, that people will just grumble about  it as a lousy business license policy. But it's a diversion, done on purpose to defocus everyone. A lot of people like arguing semantics instead of focusing on the core issues. Philadelphia hopes they can get enough people arguing semantics to water down the argument.

Philadelphia likens a blogger  to a freelance writer who always had to pay for a business license. But a freelance writer is hoping to earn extra income by being a writer. Not hoping to maybe earn a little money to support a hobby. The backyard vegetable grower is not a farmer, even if she sells her neighbor some tomatoes.

Look at it this way. Suppose Philadelphia were to decide that any place people occupy which gives at least one overnight accommodation  per year to someone who is not a resident,  is to be called, under Philadelphia law, a "hotel" if the "guest" provides some payment, like bringing flowers, and therefore the new "hotel owner" must purchase a $250/year hotel license and pay other fees for health inspections.  So that the first time your mother slept over and brought you a gift, you'd have to go buy a $250 hotel license and meet your local health inspector. Would you consider this a tax on family and friends visiting your home? Or would you accept that what you are doing is being a hotel and so you should just pay for the business license? I think you'd call it a "personal visitor tax" and not accept that you now own a hotel.  It's the same logic. You do not own a hotel. You are not a freelance writer. Instead, you own a home. You put some thoughts into a blog.

So, the central question is whether a hobby, like blogging, is a business? If you believe blogging is a business then a business license is reasonable for you but if you believe that blogging is not a business, but a hobby,  but is being defined and targeted in particular by Philadelphia as a business because there are so many people who blog and so it can sell a lot of licenses, then  it's a blog tax because they classified blogs as businesses, on purpose, in particular, for a financial windfall. Period.

Further playing the semantic game, where I live, blogging is considered a hobby and therefore does not require a business license. As I am not under Philadelphia jurisdiction, I am therefore, for yet another reason, semantically speaking, absolutely accurate in calling this a "blog tax."

Jerry


Reuters 23-Aug-2010
Click here for original story


Update: Aug 25, 2010 @  20:36 GMT


A Few "Unclear On The Concept" Bonehead Awards
What is obvious to you and to me is surprisingly not obvious to everyone

From sign maker through procurement to sign installer, nobody had a problem with this? Is it a drug zone where no school officials are permitted? Or a place to get free drugs at school? Or a school that sadly fails miserably at knowing how to write English properly?


About 275 passengers flying to Hong Kong from London were struck with terror when a computer voice calmly announced, "This is an emergency. We may shortly need to make an emergency landing on water." The water, in this case, being the North Sea.

Said one passenger, "I can't think of anything worse than being told your plane's about to crash."

BA is blaming the computer, of course. There's a Microsoft joke in here somewhere.


The Daily Mail (UK)  27-Aug-2010
Click here for original story
Wait, what is she doing? A prostate screening? Sure looks like it. Maybe there are some who wish this is the way it is done, but sadly it's not good for the pool. 


Unclear on the concept of stall doors and how they relate to privacy? Or maybe unclear on the concept of doing a proper job to be proud about?

Update: Aug 25, 2010 @  18:36 GMT


So, How's That Anti-Vaccination Thing Working Out For You?
7 babies died unnecessarily from Whooping Cough in California. Next demon? Expect Polio to return.

Eight people, 7 of them infants, have now died from Whooping Cough (Pertussis)  in a California outbreak. A disease everyone thought would never be seen again in the US.  All because some people believe vaccinations are, ironically, harmful. Reminds me of a t-shirt, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

What next?

"...And you start to see things like Whooping Cough coming back. This is the canary in the coal mine. Last year we saw children die of Measles, and I worry that if we see Whooping Cough and Measles, that Polio can't be far away."
-- Dr. Nancy Snyderman

Anyone still not wanting to vaccinate? A child dying from Whooping Cough is one of the most heart breaking things. If you have the stomach for it, or you choose not to vaccinate, you can get a bit of an idea from this YouTube link.

S
ometimes ignorance is funny. Sometimes it frees demons to walk amongst us and kill our children.

A  3.5 minute discussion:



New Scientist  25-Aug-2010
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 22, 2010 @  16:10 GMT


Today's Tip: Calling Yourself A "Sovereign Citizen" Doesn't Allow You To Take Someone's House
Couple try fleeing police but their "diplomatic vehicle" had flat tires

A woman calling herself "Princess Donya Taylor" (Princess of fools) and her husband, Ivan Willis Taylor, face charges for stealing a number of houses in the Atlanta, Georgia, area under the claim that they are "sovereign citizens," immune from Georgia laws, for some reason or other.

They are also suing some bank for $236 billion.

They were arrested when police gave chase after they drove off in their car which had both fake diplomatic plates and flat tires.

However Princess Taylor is being given the royal court treatment. Unlike most common criminals, she's being held without bail.


WSBTV Channel 2 (Atlanta, Georgia)  20-Aug-2010
Click here for original story


Update: Aug 22, 2010 @  15:22 GMT

Trio Who Robbed Home Returns To Get Remaining Stuff While Police Are Processing The Scene
So glad you could come


A trio of men who apparently will stop at nothing to get what they want, returned to the home they had earlier burgled so they could get more stuff, even though police were inside processing the crime scene.


Northwest Florida Daily News 20-Aug-2010
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 21, 2010 @  18:47 GMT

Translates Into Being Too Lazy To Ask A Fluent Speaker To Check The Signs
Some good examples of Engrish


As a person who only speaks one language (well, a little French), I don't think it's right to make fun of English translation mistakes. However there's no excuse for a government agency or a business owner, to create signs without having a fluent English speaker check them first. Heck, a blog posting is all that would be needed.

So we laugh at the expense of the lazy people who don't want to do their jobs well.

Enjoy!




Update: Aug 19, 2010 @  23:43 GMT


Man Who Robbed A Walgreens Pharmacy Came Back Three Days Later To Pick Up His Prescription, Police Said
He could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he did both in one trip. What difference?


If only there was a pharmacy to rob that had many different store locations in the area.

Douglas F. Manning of Springfield, Missouri, wearing a tan jacket and arriving in a silver four-door passenger car,  robbed a Walgreens pharmacy clerk at gunpoint. He returned a few days later, wearing a tan jacket and arriving in a the same silver four-door passenger car, to pick up a prescription ... from the same clerk.




News-Leader (Springfield, Missouri) 19-Aug-10
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 19, 2010 @  01:07 GMT


Man Shined Laser At Police Helicopter To See If The Police Would Come, Police Said
Not the brightest laser in the box


A San Diego, California man, Payam Daniel Keshmiri, is being held on $25,000 bail after being arrested for shining a laser at a police helicopter.  "...they told their friend [Keshmiri] not to shine the light at the helicopter, but he did anyway because he wanted to see if the police would come..."

Death, taxes and the police responding to a laser assault all go together, dude.


San Diego Union-Tribune (San Diego, California)  18-Aug-01
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 18, 2010 @  21:00 GMT


If You Google "This document is CONFIDENTIAL," You Get Over 397,000 Hits. Mostly From Those Who Own Them.
You're doing it all wrong

Wikileaks has gotten a lot of press lately for exposing documents that are supposedly to be kept confidential.

Introducing ordinary Google

When everything is claimed to be "confidential," either to protect from future undefined legal scenarios, because information is power and someone is being piggish or because of laziness, people are trained not to pay attention nor care because something claiming to be confidential is likely not to be very confidential.

I saw a posting on Reddit.com showing the number of Google hits you get searching for the exact phrase "This document is CONFIDENTIAL" and had a look. I was surprised how many hits there are and how many of the authorized information holders are the ones exposing their own supposedly confidential documents via the Internet.

There's something pretty boneheaded here..

Here is the second page from my Google search showing over 397,000 hits:




Update: Aug 17, 2010 @  17:35 GMT

Who Can't Not Resist?
Restaurant offers an unappetizing deal

Not quite your standard restaurant twofer deal ... I think.

Found at BitsAndPices.us

Update: Aug 17, 2010 @  13:52 GMT


Best Not To Get The Boss Involved In Ball Playing
Classic schlemiel and schlimazel. A 23 sec video

Yiddish has the concept of a schlemiel  and a schlimazel. Sadly, English does not. A schlemiel is always the one who causes problems, but never on purpose. He accidentally spills the soup. A schlimazel is the person who always seems to be the unlucky one. The one who always gets the souped spilled on him.

Don't try to get your boss involved in playing ball with you if he's a schlemiel.


Well, It's Not Exactly How I Would Have Said It. But The Point Is Made
CNN's proofreading is crap



Update: Aug 16, 2010 @  17:30 GMT


For A Great YouTube Opportunity, Ask Prof Rosenthal If She Wants Butter On Her Bagel
Cops called as prof became "enraged" because the question is "linguistically stupid."


"Linguistically, it's stupid, and I'm a stickler for correct English,"  is the excuse given by NYC English professor, Lynne Rosenthal, for her having become "enraged" after being asked if she wanted her bagel "without butter or cheese." She was so upset and so enraged by the question that police had to intervene and threaten her arrest if she did not leave the Starbucks cafe willingly.

Perceived linguistic purity trumps social grace

"I just wanted a multigrain bagel," Rosenthal told The Post. "I refused to say 'without butter or cheese.' "

"It was very humiliating to be thrown out, and all I did was ask for a bagel," Rosenthall added.

Um no, professor. Asking for a bagel is not all you did, is not what caused the humiliation nor is it what caused your being tossed. Let's be linguistically proper by not selectively excluding important information. And is calling the employee an "a.. hole," linguistically proper, I wonder?

And I purposely spelled your name wrong the last time I wrote it.


The New York Post  (New York City)  16-Aug-10
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 15, 2010 @  07:06 GMT


Signs Of Unintelligent Life
Are the sign makers the idiots, or did idiots make the signs necessary?


In our continuing search for signs of unintelligent life in the Universe, we've come across these two:



Update: Aug 15, 2010 @  01:54 GMT

Not a BH award. Prove You've Got What It Takes Mentally! Take The Swedish Armed Forces Leadership Test
Not for boneheads


Ready to prove you have what it takes mentally for leadership and teamwork? The Swedish Armed Forces have put one of their mental leadership and teamwork tests on the web. You affect the outcome of your team members and they affect yours. There are 3 other anonymous people assigned to your team.

Depending on how well you and your team do, the test can run a minute to maybe 5 minutes? 

Have your headphones on when you start and, for your team member's sake, don't start it if you are going to be distracted. You are timed and can end it all quickly for your team if you lose your concentration.

I found it interesting and fun. My last team was a good team. Tell me what you think of  the test.

Click here to start the Swedish Armed Forces test and good luck!

Update: Aug 11, 2010 @  23:36 GMT

They Turned Her Into A Butt Head!
Some losers just can't get it together when handling a sexy woman


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Update: Aug 9, 2010 @  20:04 GMT

If You Don't Plan Your Van Designs Properly, You Could Be Opening The Door To A Misunderstanding
A business delivering personal service and a radio station playing the latest sh*t. Still Works, sort  of.



Update: Aug 9, 2010 @  16:32 GMT

Man Blames Dyslexia For 103 MPH Driving. Judge Also Not Amused By His "Gesticulating" While Driving
A "Stupidest excuse in the world bonehead award" 


Matthew Cook of the UK was arrested for driving at 103MPH whilst  gesticulating. He tried blaming it on his dyslexia (the speeding, not the gesticulating) claiming, I guess, that he thought he was driving at 30 MPH? or maybe 10? The judge didn't buy it and he's now banned from driving for 5 years.

But he can continue gesticulating, preferably in private.


The Telegraph (UK)  09-Aug-10
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 9, 2010 @  02:17 GMT


Man Dies At The World Sauna Competition After 6 Minutes In A 230F Oven. Strange. Turkeys Usually Go Into 325F Ovens
Sad that he basted away his life like this


Two men, Vladimir Ladyzhensky of Russia, and Timo Kaukonen of Finland, were both determined to outlast the other at the "World Sauna Competition," held in Heinola, Finland. They roasted in a 230F (110C) oven for 6 minutes. The competition ended when Ladyzhensky died and Kaukonen collapsed and needed to be rushed to the hospital.

Water boils at 212F at sea level (100C). 230F well exceeds the point at which flesh burns and blood boils. The dumb thing about this competition is that there is a physics enforced limit to the world record possibility. Attempting to exceed this limit results in death or severe injury.


One witness said both were badly burned when removed from the sauna.

Kaukonen, we suppose, is the winner? He must feel very proud of himself?

Reminds me of the song, "The Winner," by Bobby Bare (below).

The Telegraph (UK)  07-Aug-10
Click here for original story


Update: Aug 8, 2010 @  15:00 GMT

Man Cited For Owning Chickens Because Someone Said He Owned Chickens, Lazy Code Enforcer Said
The chickens were statues. The citation was unreal

Robert Sosbee of Austell, Georgia, came home to find a citation  taped to his door citing him for owning livestock. Apparently, someone mistook a ceramic chicken for a real chicken and called it into code enforcement. That's boneheaded too.



And why was he issued a citation for a ceramic chicken? "He [code enforcer] was told that there were real chickens in the backyard." You'd think that if the guy went all the way down to Sosbee's house to deliver a citation that he would at least look for himself before issuing the citation?

WSBTV, channel 2 (Atlanta, Georgia)  20-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 6, 2010 @  15:00 GMT

Pro Tip: When On Camera, Only Scratch The Thought Of Doing It. Scratch Nothing More
25 second video


Thanks to  tdemers20 at YouTube

Update: Aug 5, 2010 @  21:07 GMT

Not a Bonehead Award. One Of The Greatest Catches In Baseball History By Japanese Player Masato 'Spiderman' Akamatsu
We'll be seeing more of him. 70 second video


Update: Aug 5, 2010 @  04:04 GMT

Driver Gets A Crash Course In Understanding "Do Not Enter"
12 second video. Driver not so smart as he thought




Update: Aug 5, 2010 @  04:04 GMT

Lucky For Escaping A Certain Death Twice? Or Unlucky For Being So Dumb?
Bet you watch this 30 second video twice





Attempted Murder & Armed Robbery Fugitive Attended The Local Law Enforcement Meet And Greet, Police Said
'In plain sight' is not always the best hiding place


Former fugitive, Joseph S. Cromer, wanted for attempted murder and armed robbery, was arrested in Greenville, South Carolina, when spotted at the Night Out Against Crime event. An event heavily attended by both locals, law enforcement personnel and, apparently, fugitives.


WYFF Channel 4 (Greenville, South Carolina)  3-Aug-10
Click here for original story


Update: Aug 4, 2010 @  13:54 GMT

FBI Threatens Action Against Wikipedia Over Imaginary Law
"...we must work with the actual language of the statute, not the aspirational version."


For the rest of us, "ignorance of the law is no excuse." But if you're the FBI, you simply rewrite the law. Or so the agency apparently believes.

Deciding that there ought to be a law against Wikipedia presenting a high resolution image of the FBI seal
, the bureau wrote a threatening letter to Wikimedia, the parent of Wikipedia, demanding that the high resolution images of the seal be removed as they claim it violates  US code 18,701. The bureau then cited the law, but with the words central to the purpose of the law, removed.

Wikimedia refuses to remove the images and states in their letter to the bureau, which also identifies the omissions, "While we appreciate your desire to revise the statute to reflect your expansive vision of it, the fact is that we must work with the actual language of the statute, not the aspirational version."


What do you think? Feel free to leave a comment below.

The New York Times  2-Aug-10
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 4, 2010 @  00:53 GMT


Australian Judge Rules That Drunk Driving In Some Towns Is OK
A "justice is blind, but only because it has its head up its butt, bonehead award"


An Australian magistrate, Brian "Baloney" Maloney, ruled yesterday that drunk driving is permissible in many Australian Towns. Although, presumably not the one he lives in.

Jasmin Clair Henley, arrested by police for DUI, was let go without conviction when she told Baloney she had to drive drunk because there was no bus to take her home. On this basis, and this basis alone, charges were dismissed.

Yes, there are taxis. Yes, she could have drank less. Yes, she could have arranged for someone to drive her. Yes, she could have killed someone. None of this  was relevant. It's not her fault. You can bet your life that it's your fault. You don't provide enough buses for people who drink too much.


Daily Telegraph (Sydney, Australia)  4-Aug-10
Click here for original story

Update: Aug 1, 2010 @  21:58 GMT


Oddly, It's Very Uncool
Car air conditioning designs from men without girlfriends









Update: July 31, 2010 @  17:03 GMT

Health & Safety Bans Kiddie Pools As Being Fire Hazards Despite Fire Dept. Reminder That Water Is Nice At A Fire
Because a fire engine may get stuck in a kiddie pool. I'm not making this up


With an apparent lack of understanding of how things work in the physical world, and with complete disregard to the appeals from the local fire department, health and safety at a housing association which runs council housing for London borough,  Havering, have decided to ban kids paddling pools because fire trucks might not be able to drive over them. Really.



What do you think?




Daily Mail (UK)  31-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 30, 2010 @  23:13 GMT


Apparently it is possible to be rear-ended from a frontal impact





Update: July 27, 2010 @  21:00 GMT

Woman Discovers Her Husband Has A 2nd Wife. Frack. He Posted The Wedding Pictures On Facebook! And He Also ...
Someone could write a book about the changing face of the world thanks to the Internet


Pro tip one: If you're going to have a second wife, resist the urge to literally spread the information around the globe via Facebook.

Pro tip two: If you  tell one of your wives that you are in China for a long term business trip, don't leave your passport at home.

A bit surprising this guy even knows how to log into Facebook, actually.

"The pictures are out there for the world to see," says Megan, wife one in Cleveland, Ohio. "It's not just that I have the knowledge, but I see the proof and everyone I know sees the proof and people I don't know see the proof." Which includes you now, dear reader.


WKYC TV (Cleveland/Akron, Ohio)  28-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 27, 2010 @  12:55 GMT


Unfortunate Eye Hand Coordination. My Eye, His Hand
40 second video




Update: July 27, 2010 @  00:37 GMT

Parents.com Uses An Explicit Photo Of A Nude Young Girl. You're Doing It All Wrong
 It's not their fault. It's the photographer's fault. In other news, Parents.com hires photographers who like taking pictures of nude young girls.


Parents.com, part of Parenting magazine, is apologizing for the "unquestionably inappropriate photo" which appeared in their newsletter to parents which displays a nude little girl playing inside a suitcase "with her genitals clearly exposed." They blame it on their photographer who forgot to use only the top half of the photo for the newsletter.

You can see the video of the Fox news report from the link below where the reporter presents the story with the impartiality you'd expect from the major shareholder of parents.com.

Fox news apparently didn't find anything unusual about a photographer working for a parenting magazine who likes to take explicit photos of the genitalia of  nude little girls who are implicitly transported inside of a suitcase. Nor did they think to ask why parents.com uses photographers who do.

Just saying, is all.


Fox News (Boston, Massachusetts)  27-Jun-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 28, 2010 @  21:33 GMT

Man Says Police Illegally Forced 19 Felony Confessions By Withholding A Bag Of Chips And A Soda
Because police know he'll do anything for a bag of chips and a soda. A "stupidest excuse in the world," bonehead award


Bruce Tuck, a 275 pound Tennessee serial rapist, says he confessed to 19 felony charges because police traded him the confessions for a bag of chips and a soda. He also says his confessions are invalid because police failed to read him his "Miranda right." [sic] And every other excuse he could think of.

Tuck's public defender says he does not know what Tuck ate in jail.


WMC TV (Channel 5) Memphis, Tennessee  20-Jun-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 26, 2010 @  00:17 GMT

NYC Cop Helps Woman Fix Her Flat Tire. Joking. He Ticketed Her For "Illegal Parking" And Then Left
Would Chu like to meet NYC's worst NYPD member?



NYC Traffic Cop, Daniel Chu "baka," ticketed a woman for illegal parking while she was changing a flat tire in a dirt area off road. "I said to him, 'Are you kidding me?, " recounts Tammy Fox, of New Rochelle, NY, " ... I'm trying to fix my flat tire , and you're standing here writing me a ticket?"

But wait, there's more ...

This is the same cop who turned on his flashing lights and drove high speed through city streets, running red lights and stop signs, while talking on a cell phone, to get coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts. And the same cop who screamed profanities at a parked funeral procession and then ticketed every car.

New York City, why would chu want to keep him?


Update: July 23, 2010 @  16:22 GMT

Ooh. Giant Animal. Let's Throw Something At It
45 second video






Update: July 23, 2010 @  16:22 GMT


Ann Arbor, Millions In The Red, Can't Afford An $850K Art Piece. Just Joking. They're Laying Off Fire Fighters To Pay For It
No matter how you view it, it ain't pretty


Flaming insane is how you might describe the decision by Ann Arbor, Michigan, to buy an $850K water sculpture with one hand while writing layoff notices to city fire fighters with the other.

"I think it is incredibly insensitive," Ann Arbor City Councilor Kunselman said. "It is insensitive to the staff and their morale. It is insensitive to the community. There are people out there struggling financially, and here we are spending a large amount of money on a piece of art."

The city claims the money is coming from two different accounts but the city has the ability to move funds between accounts and has done so when it suited personal political agendas in the past.


Michigan Capitol Confidential  22-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 23, 2010 @  01:55 GMT

Apparently This Does Need To Be Said. Tear Gas Training Should Never Be Done Next To A Group Of Day Care Campers
It can only end in tears



For reasons that you nor I will ever understand, the New York state Department of Correctional Services thought tear gas training next to a facility used by Day Care campers for outdoor activities was just the perfect place. What can possibly go wrong?

Seven people had to be treated for burning eyes and burning mouths from tear gas exposure.  About 60 people had to run for shelter when the training began.


Times Union (Albany, NY) 23-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 22, 2010 @  22:42 GMT

When The Internet Naive Pick Your Domain Name
Presenting 5 mighty unfortunate Internet domain names



  1. http://MammothErection.com, a construction company website, which greets you with a strutting Woolly Mammoth, of all things. Yes, of course, the Mammoth is standing erect. Even more unfortunate for ME is that if someone enters the name from memory and puts an "s" after "Erection" they get exactly what they were thinking about at the time they were entering the company name. This has probably led to more than one embarrassing moment for a company procurement officer.

  2. Is it http://TheRapistFinder.com or http://TherapistFinder.com? They both work to connect to the site as Internet domain names are case insensitive. 

  3. Quick. Read this to yourself and see what you read it as: http://molestationnursery.com.  Do you first read it as http://MolestationNursery.com? instead of http://MoleStationNursery.com? Of course you do. Whoever heard of Mole Station Nursery?

  4. Depending on what type of fish you want from the sea, you can visit http://BiGalsOnline.com or go to  http://BigAlsOnline.com (aquatic supplies).

  5. Want to build up your hip thrusts to get you through the indoor days of Winter? Maybe http://WinterSexPress.com is the answer? Nope, something much more boring: http://WintersExpress.com
Sadly, we can no longer poke fun at http://ExpertSexChange.com, the old domain name for the Experts Exchange website. They abandoned it and now use http://Experts-Exchange.com, having had enough from people like us. The domain has been revived by some opportunist but it's no longer funny to poke fun at.

Also there are stories going about the Internet listing other domains but these either no longer exist or were apparently set up on purpose to attract attention.  




Update: July 22, 2010 @  13:34 GMT

A Sign That The Marketing People Have Too Much Sway
It's never a good idea to mix marketing and honesty

Picture goes here


Update: July 21, 2010 @  13:38 GMT

2 Prisoners Escape From Jail While The Soccer Ball Watched And Did Nothing. Wait, What?
"Prison security is over inflated" says the soccer ball on a stick wearing a guard hat. Well, it would  if it could talk.


Two prisoners escaped from an Argentinian jail while being watched by a soccer ball attached to a stick and wearing a guard hat. Meet Wilson. And the video surveillance cameras stopped working months ago so they are fake too.

There isn't enough money to get real people to guard the prisoners so officials tried using a prop that looks like a guard. Those applying for prison guard positions are advised not to bring a long face to the interview.


BBC (UK) 20-Jul-10
Click here for original story



Update: July 20, 2010 @  15:00 GMT

Add "Are You Serving Any Meals?" To The List Of Things, Like, "High Jack," That You Should Never Utter At The Airport
 Man's butt hauled off the plane by police after his asking


A first class passenger who boarded a United Airlines flight asked the flight attendant the dark question, "Are you serving any meals during our flight?" A few minutes later two armed Austin, Texas, police officers hauled him from the flight.

The flight attendant somehow parsed his question into him asking if there were any police on board? Instead of asking him to repeat the question she ran for the police.

Our best advice to those of you planning on taking a flight ...  just shut up and enjoy the flight.


The Consumerist 20-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 20, 2010 @  15:00 GMT

A Legally Parked Car Is Lifted, 'No Parking' Lines Painted Under It, Placed Back In Wrong Direction And Then Ticketed. Ta Da!
 UK thinks they found a 'fine' way to raise extra cash


Sally Baker's legally parked Peugeot became her illegally parked Peugeot when she returned to it later in the day. Manchester city centre council workers in the UK, whilst she was away, lifted her car (and two other people's cars), painted double yellow lines underneath it (indicating a no parking zone), placed it back in the wrong direction and then ticketed the car for illegal parking.

The ticket was removed when protested.

One city official said this is done on purpose to protect the drivers from a second ticket because, unlike the rest of the UK, Manchester has this awesome great magic computer to automatically deal with this. Right.

Another city official says it won't happen again.


The Daily Mail (UK) 20-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 19, 2010 @  17:02 GMT


A NOT A Bonehead Award. Balloon bass and a box. I think this is awesome. Do you agree? Let me know.
A 1.5 minute video

include ("phpElements/MainPageGreet.php");


Update: July 18, 2010 @  23:31 GMT

If You Ask US Airways For A Military Discount They Might Charge You $200 More
Just their way of giving special recognition to those who put their lives on the line for them


A North Carolina couple, excited that their Army son and their grandson were flying in from Texas for a visit, called US Airways to arrange for the tickets. They were shocked when the ticket price rose $200 after requesting the military discount.

Then it gets stranger

The airline apparently refused to remove the "discount." The couple had to cancel the tickets and buy them online to get the civilian price.

Um, US Air, would you mind thinking about changing the first part of your name, please?


The Fayetteville Observer (Fayetteville, North Carolina)  18-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 18, 2010 @ 14:08GMT



Solving the Beijing parking problem.

Solving the shopping mall parking problem

Update: July 16, 2010 @ 23:24 GMT

Police Wrestle/Handcuff Woman During Epileptic Seizure. Charge Her W/ Assault and Cocaine Use. Co-workers Told Them She Had Epilepsy.
Police refuse to drop charges. That's some fine police work there, Lou

Jessica Yochum of Mt. Lebanon, Pennsylvania, is suing the Mt. Lebanon police for their actions after they responded to a call to assist her during one of her epileptic seizures, and ignorantly decided instead that she was having a drug overdose. She was handcuffed, shackled  and restrained during the seizure, the opposite of how a  to handle a seizure, and then they charged her with aggravated assault and illegal drug use. She was left with large bruises and cuts following the incident. Co-workers tried telling police she was seizing but police wanted to believe otherwise.

Scary and disturbing

Even though there was never evidence of illegal drug use and even after doctors provided  information, the Mt. Lebanon police refused to drop the charges. The court dismissed the charges.

Why we need lawyers

Yochum is now suing the Mt. Lebanon police on a number of grounds including violating her due process rights and violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.


Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)  16-Jul-10
Click here for original story



Update: July 13, 2010 @ 02:26 GMT

Finally, Someone Gets Serious About Lowering Govt Costs. Vienna Is Fed-up W/ People Drinking Pool Water and Costing City $1.67/day
In other news Vienna people drink pool water. Ewwww

The city of Vienna has calculated that they lose $1.67 per day by having to constantly add water and chlorine to a city pool and they are convinced this is because people are drinking the pool. What else can it be?

To be fair with people they should also calculate how much water swimmers gratuitously add back to the pool. This would not only balance the analysis but also provide the incentive to stop pool drinking.

Finally, a government entity that takes reduced spending seriously!

The Daily Mail (UK) 12-Jul-10
Click here for original story




Update: July 12, 2010 @ 02:03 GMT

Man Tossed From Nightclub Rams His Van Into The Club, Beats Up His Sister, Vowing To Cut Off Her Head, Is Free On $2,800 Bond. Wait, What?
A "justice is blind but only because it has its head up its butt," bonehead award

Keith Rasmussen of Racine, Wisconsin, was arrested for, among other things,
  • ramming his van into a nightclub after he was bounced from it,
  • beating up his sister. and
  • for threatening to decapitate his sister using the knife and sack he showed to police.
He was set free after posting $2,800 bail.  What can possibly go wrong?

Gives new meaning to the term, "Criminal Justice."


Wisconsin State Journal (Madison, Wisconsin) 9-Jul-10
Click here for original story

Update: July 11, 2010 @ 16:01 GMT

Bloomberg News Banner Racially Bombs Oxford University Economist
A new chink in Bloomberg's reputation

The word "chink" has two main definitions. One being essentially a crack and the other " ... is a racial slur to a person of Chinese or any East Asian descent," according to the Wikipedia definition.

Oxford University economist, Linda Yueh, an expert in Asian , and particularly Chinese economics, appears here as a guest on Bloomberg news to discuss the Google/China licensing issue. Bloomberg editors identify the topic using an unfortunate racially negative double entendre.

You can see the YouTube video here. The banner appears 12 seconds into the video.

In other news, the buzz around Hollywood is that actor Mel Gibson is investigating purchasing a controlling interest in news and data giant,  Bloomberg L.P.  He's quoted as saying, "I like a news organization that can boil complex issues down to a level that I can understand."




Update: July 11, 2010 @ 01:37 GMT


Apparently, You Are More Than Qualified To Be A Special Effects "Pro" At Fox News. Really.
The most ridiculous animal animation ever. Watch the animals move and talk. But the poop is real. Silly story too. 1.5 min video



Update: July 10, 2010 @ 01:41 GMT

If You Want To Take Great Sexy Pictures, You Need To Have The Right Background For It
Two sexy picture fails




Update: July 8 2010 @ 02:22 GMT

JCPenny Donates Unsold Clothes To Charity. Just Kidding. They Cut It Up With Knives And Trash It
It keeps their profits up. There, now, don't you feel better about it?




Found at the JC Penny website

Sadly, it has been learned that major department store retailer, JCPenny, does not donate nor liquidate any of their unsold top-of-the-line, American Living, brand clothing but rather has it cut up and tossed into the dumpster. 

And thanks, JCPenny, for associating this wretched corporate action with your "American Living" brand.  You might as well rename it to "The Ugly American" brand at this point.

And what says JCPenny? "...
our agreement with this particular supplier prohibits JCPenney from liquidating or donating unsold merchandise where their brand label can’t be removed without destroying that particular item. "


WTAE Channel 4 (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)  6-Jul-10
Click here for the original story

Update: July 4, 2010 @ 18:27 GMT
The Children Always Look Excited When Sitting On The New Playground Toy!
Playground equipment design failure

What were they thinking when they came up with this thing? Actually, never mind. I don't want to know.


Update: July 3, 2010 @ 20:35 GMT

When Storing Your Loaded Gun In The Stove, Best To Resist The Urge To Investigate Popping Sounds Heard During Cooking
Loaded Smith and Wesson becomes the chef's surprise


Antoine Boutte of College Park, Georgia, has a problem using stoves. His ideas are half-baked and he creates recipes for destruction.

Antoine thought that keeping his loaded .40 caliber Smith and Wesson at the bottom of his stove was a cool place for it.  When he and his friend began hearing popping sounds while cooking, his friend opened the stove door to investigate.

The hospital says he'll live.

Atlanta-Journal-Constitution  (Atlanta, Georgia)  3-Jul-2010
Click here for the original story

Update: July 2, 2010 @ 15:44 GMT

Need Holes In The Wall To Install Satellite TV? Why Not Use A Gun Instead Of A Drill?
Call it a "Black and Deck Her" drill

Why mess around with a pesky drill to make holes in your bedroom wall for installing your satellite TV system when you can blast them out with your gun? It's an interesting question. And the answer depends on which side of the wall you're on  when considering the issue.

Ronald Long of Deepwater, Missouri, shot and killed his wife, Patsy, while using his new "Black and Deck Her" drill to make two holes for his satellite TV installation.  He didn't think she was outside, if he does any thinking at all.


KCTV (Kansas, Missouri)  25-Mar-08
Click here for the original story

Update: July 2, 2010 @ 22:35 GMT

Dell Says Multiple Computer Failures Due To Difficult Math Problems
University of Texas Math Dept Sues. Says It Doesn't Add Up


Today, a "Stupidest Excuse In The World, Bonehead Award," goes to Dell Inc.

The University of Texas Math Department is suing Dell over a number of  computer failures after Dell offered up the explanation that "the school had overtaxed the machines by making them perform difficult math calculations."

Sometimes it takes a lawyer to fix a computer.

The New York Times  28-Jun-10
Click here for the original story


Update: June 30, 2010 @ 00:35 GMT

One For The Police Blog
How the bank robbery went down. Way down.

A 32 second video.



Update: Aug 17, 2009 @ 01:34 GMT

UK School System Requires All Teenagers Get Certification In Knowing How To Catch A Bus
So students who can't get certified in anything else won't feel bad

Students in Greater Manchester, UK, will need to achieve certification in , "Using Public Transport (Unit 1)" which recognizes a teenager's ability to catch a public bus. Specifically,
  • Walk to a bus stop.
  • Stand or sit  and wait. Presumably you lose certification if you lie down on the road or go onto the bus shelter roof.
  • Enter the bus calmly and safely.
  • Sit where the bus driver tells you to sit.
  • Leave the bus safely.
Why? "For some it may be the only qualifications they get."

It has to be extremely embarrassing though for students who don't get qualified.

Says one teenager, “At first I thought I’d got some sort of GCSE early. But when I read out the details to the family we all fell about laughing. "


Now that they've been globally ridiculed, the Authority says they somehow suddenly came to realize that they used all the wrong words for the certification requirements.   We award them certification in "Using Back Peddling (Unit 1)."

In other news, the lowest possible point in "dummying down" has been discovered in the UK.


The Telegraph (UK)  13-Aug-09
Click here for the original story




Man Who Stole iPods From Work Posted Ads At The Store He Stole Them From, Police Said
Dumb AdSS!

A Great Falls, Montana, man, Remo Spencer, who stole several iPods and computers from the Wal-Mart store he worked at,  posted them for sale on the store's employee bulletin board, according to police and  the store security cameras.


The Billings Gazette (Billings, Montana)  22-Apr-09
Click here for the original story



Red Cross Workers Tell Injured Bleeding Runner They Aren't Allowed To Use Adhesive Bandages And Antiseptic Because It's Too Dangerous
Said they would have to remove their uniforms to comply. Wait. What?


An "unclear on the concept," bonehead award goes to two Red Cross workers in Yorkshire Dales, UK, who told an injured and bleeding runner that they were not allowed to provide Band-Aids (plasters) and antiseptic because of the allergic reaction potential. Obviously better to risk infection.

"I couldn't believe it. I was bleeding quite heavily at the time," said Mr. Dickinson, the injured runner. "One of them said he could give me a plaster if he took his uniform off, but the other said he better not."

A refreshment stand employee tended to his injuries instead.

What possible reason did the Red Cross pair think they were sent there for, with medical kit in hand, if not to provide first aid to injured people using these very same items in the medical kit?  

And what says the Red Cross?

The volunteers are provided with kits containing these items for such incidents and apparently the pair is not clear on the Red Cross policy.  You think?

Sounds like a mental health volunteer may need to be included along with the Red Cross first aid volunteers at events.


The Telegraph (UK)  26-Jul-09
Click here for the original story




Could Anyone Be Stupid Enough To Believe That The Hotel Wants Them To Break The Room Window With The Toilet Tank?
Yes. And they also broke through the wall believing they had to rescue the guy in the next room. But alas, there is no rescue from stupidity.

Would you believe that anyone could be stupid enough to believe a caller, claiming to be a hotel staff member, who says that smashing the window with the toilet tank is the only way to avoid death from a gas leak? And who says you must smash the mirror and  break a hole in the wall because the man next door needs to be rescued?

If not, please meet Mark and Lisa Kantoriski who did some $10,000 damage to their Hilton Garden Inn room in Orlando Florida, after following the caller's instructions.

What were they thinking?

"When I broke the window, I got suspicious. It didn't seem right, but she (Lisa) was panicking, so I continued."

There.  That's what they were thinking..

The police said the couple cannot be arrested because the two believed they were responding to an emergency. Or to put it another way,  there's no law against stupidity.

This is but the latest in a string of  damage instigated by prank callers in the US.  We reported a case of some $50,000 damage done by a hotel clerk who was told that completely destroying the lobby and breaking the sprinkler head was the only way to keep the sprinkler system from activating.  See it here.

The article cites other cases, like the Arkansas motel employee who did $50K damage to "test" the emergency alarms.


NEWS.co.au (Australia) 9-Jul-09
Click here for the original story

Update: July 6, 2009 @ 23:54 GMT

"I'm Too Tared To Cross The Street." Watch Lazy People Stuck Like Flies While Trying To Get Around Those Pesky Tar Spreaders Blocking The Crosswalk
  Can't go over it. Can't go under it.  Don't want to go around it.  Got to go through it.  Slosh, slosh.  Going on a bonehead hunt.   




Why do people, seeing a number of large trucks spreading tar on the road, never-the-less decide that there would be no problem running across the road?  So we can watch them on the Internet!  A 1:15 video.


http://bonehead.lerman.biz/php/CrashCourseInUnderstandingDoNotEnter.php
I'm too tared to keep walking
by Jerry_L


UK Refuses To Release Names Of 39 Escaped Prisoners, Citing Privacy Protection. Releasing Victim's Names Still OK
Was OK to name them when imprisoned but not when they escaped

You whipped out your "Freedom of Information Act" but I completely blocked it with the power of my "Data Protection Acts!"  Suck it UK citizens.

The UK Ministry of Justice is refusing to provide the names of 39 escaped prisoners from the Hollesley Bay open prison, saying that doing so would breach UK data protection laws, despite a request under the Freedom of Information Act.

"It is the general policy of the Ministry of Justice not to disclose, to a third party, personal information about another person."

Do you remember when we worried about being the victim of a lack of privacy?  


BBC  3-Jul-09
Click here for original story

Update: July 4, 2009 @ 14:54 GMT

UK Schools Ban Parents From Attending Athletic Events Because A Parent Could Be A Pedophile
Because everyone knows a proud school administrator means more to a child than a proud parent

"If we let parents into the school they would have been free to roam the grounds" said Paul Blunt of the East Bedfordshire School Sports Partnership. "The ultimate fear is that a child is hurt or abducted, and we must take all measures possible to prevent that."

Parents end up in last place

And what do the parents have to say about this, although it obviously doesn't matter?  Mother-of-three Emma Collet of Biggleswade, said, "I'm all for measures to protect the safety of children but lines must be drawn and common sense must prevail."

So, why weren't the parent's asked for their opinion before the policy was placed into effect?  Think about it.  If a parent might be a pedophile, then anyone opposing the ban might do so because they are a pedophile and so the only opinions that administrators could accept without suspicion would be those supporting them and so why bother asking?

"If you followed the thinking of this ban you wouldn't be able to let your child out of the front door,"  
said Nick Seaton, chairman of the Campaign for Real Education.  


UK Daily Mail  4-Jul-09

Click here for original story



Update: June 12, 2009 @ 02:21 GMT

Caller Tells Hotel Clerk She Has To Smash All Lobby Windows & Snap Sprinkler Head. Clerk Replies, "I'm Not That Stupid!" Only Kidding. $50,000 In Damages Ensue
Caller said the only way to prevent the sprinklers from going off was to break all the lobby windows and snap the sprinkler head, sadly, the only head working in the hotel lobby at the time

Who could possibly be stupid enough to obey, without a thought, an anonymous caller who gives orders to immediately turn on the hotel fire alarm, smash all the lobby windows, break off a sprinkler head and shut off the electricity, to prevent the sprinkler system from turning on? Why, Conway, Arkansas, Holiday Inn Express front desk clerk, Christina Bergmann, and hotel guest, Rusty Brown, that's who!

Hotel damage picture 1
Pictured here are police photographs showing some of the $50,000 estimated damage.

The caller had tried this earlier with a Little Rock Arkansas, Holiday Inn Express, where, of course, nobody was stupid enough to fall for it.

The police report contains all the details.  Click the link below.


Conway Arkansas Police Report 6-Jun-09
Click here to see the police report at the Smoking Gun

Update: June 6, 2009 @ 20:01 GMT

Woman Sues Quaker Oats Because She Thought A Captain Crunch Crunchberry Was A Real Berry And She Learned It Isn't
Ate them for 4 years for better health. In other news, eating Captain Crunch Crunchberries cereal does not improve mental health

Janine Sugawara of California was shocked to learn that the "crunchberries" in Captain Crunch Crunchberries cereal are not real berries. She had been eating them for better health for four years.

Pic of Captain Crunch Crunchberries should be here

Whilst most people would be too embarrassed to tell anyone they had believed such a stupid thing, Sugawara went and filed a class action lawsuit against Quaker Oats, claiming that they purposely deceived "reasonable" people into believing that crunchberries were a real fruit.  Can you have a "class" of one?

While we are all  fed up by the number of stupid lawsuits which are allowed to progress, and which often end with ridiculous awards, our hero, US District Judge, Morrison C. England, Jr., immediately dismissed the suit writing,

"Under normal circumstances, when this Court grants a Motion to Dismiss, the Plaintiff is given a reasonable period of time, usually twenty (20) days, in which to file an amended complaint. In this case, however, it is simply impossible for Plaintiff to file an amended complaint stating a claim based upon these facts. The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense.The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen."

The specific reasons for the dismissal include:
  • "Defendant chose the moniker `Crunchberries' for its brightly colored cereal balls. As far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world.

  • Sugawara's attorney had previously failed in an attempt to sue Kellogg under a similar Fruit Loops action.  This makes him a cereal frivolous lawsuit filer.

LexisNexis 20-May-09
Click here to see the court's decision

Update: June 1, 2009 @ 23:03 GMT

Genetically Modified What? Don't Ask Me. I'll Let The World's Worst Speaker Describe It To You
Not safe for work without headphones. 17 second video.

The world's worst speaker discusses modern genetics. 17 second video. Not safe for work without headphones.


Update: May 31, 2009 @ 18:39 GMT

Ask A Baltimore Police Officer For Directions? You Better Believe Your Butt Is Going To Be Hauled In
Wish it were an exaggeration. Sadly, it's not. And the story gets worse


A young couple, Joshua Kelly and Llara Brook, of Chantilly, Virginia, found themselves lost while driving  in Baltimore, Maryland. They were relieved, of course, when they spotted a police cruiser.
  • Kelly: "Could you please get us to 95?"
  • Officer Natalie Preston: "You found your own way in here, you can find your own way out."  
Whoa, life's a bitch when asking Baltimore police for help.

When "officer" Preston spotted them asking another officer for directions she decided to bite. She stepped between the couple and the other officer snarling, "My partner is not going to step in front of me and tell you directions if I'm not." Then she fetched their butts to the station where they remained locked up for "trespassing."

"It was a nightmare," said Brook.  "In jail for 8 hours.  Sleeping on a concrete floor next to a toilet."

Wrong one, wrong type of pound

Kelly's car was sent to the police car pound where the police left it both unlocked and with the windows down.  Stuff, of course, was stolen from the car.

Brook's parents are both Pennsylvania police officers.  We'll follow this story and report updates.  Article has video interview with victims.



WBAL TV (Baltimore, MD) 17-May-09
Click here to see original story

Update: May 31, 2009 @ 01:40 GMT

Russian Warship Mistakenly Deploys A Full Attack Salvo On A Small Village. Frack: The Only Damage Was A Broken Car Window
Add "fear of Russia" to the list of things that aren't like they used to be

A Russian warship, during naval training, accidentally executed an attack salvo against a small Russian Village. The attack included ten rockets.  

And they missed.  

Good thing they are not just incompetent, but damn incompetent.


MosNews (Russia) 30-May-09
Click here to see original story

Council Lifts Legally Parked Car. Paints No Parking. Tows Car. Denies Towing It For 3 Weeks. Charges $3.3K Fine For Not Paying Fine Quickly
Woman suffers injury from a bad parking break


Lambeth council workers in the UK lifted Ruth Ducker's Volkswagen Golf, where it was legally parked, in a spot that had always been a legal parking spot, painted no parking lines underneath it, placed the car back down and then later came and towed it away for being illegally parked!


And then it gets dumb.

Ms. Ducker had no idea where her car had gone. The council denied for 3 weeks any knowledge of having had it towed. When finally realizing they had taken it, they charged her a $1,200 penalty for waiting over 3 weeks to pay the fine! The fine grew to about $3.3K before a member of Parliament intervened on her behalf and the fines were dropped.

Residents were not warned about the change ahead of time.

The council says it was a communication issue as in not understanding the common advice, "don't act like a bunch of schmucks."


Daily Mail (UK) 28-May-09
Click here to see original story

Update: May 22, 2009 @  20:01 GMT

A: 500 Ruble Note. Q: Which Banknote, Meant To Display The Solovetsky Monastery, Instead Displays The Solovetsky Death Camp?
Using the monastery picture?  500 rubles.   Using the death camp picture?  Priceless.

"We feel pain for veterans and for the people who died in these damned death camps," said a 72-year-old north Russian resident, when speaking of the new 500 ruble Russian note.
500 ruble note showing the Solovetsky Death Camp

Partial 500 ruble note picture with death camp


The crosses, which were atop the Solovetsky monastery, were removed when the monastery was was turned into a death camp in 1926. The banknote picture shows the building without the crosses.

"Our banknote is the only note in the world with a picture of a World War II concentration camp!"


MosNews (Russia)  22-May-09
Click here for original story


Update: May 16, 2009 @  14:29 GMT

Bone Chips
16-May-09

Some bone chips in the fractured world of boneheads:
  • Man makes angry call to police after getting fed up with his neighbor playing the same annoying song every night nonstop.  It was his musical greeting card.

    Metro (UK) 05-May-09
    Click here for the original story


  • The 11 dumbest pirates in the world attack a French naval frigate with predictable results.

    Washington Post  03-May-09
    Click here for original story

  • Is your kid late for his tennis lesson?  Why not land your plane on the golf course next to the school so he doesn't miss it?

    Daily Herald (Suburban Chicago)   13-May-09
    Click here for original story

  • Favorite Internet headline:

    Pro tip: if you want your cause to be taken seriously, find a spokesman whose last name is not Poopalapillai


Update: May 9, 2009 @  16:27 GMT
Angry That The Packaged Pizza You Bought Has No Topping?  Better Turn It Over Before Calling In A Complaint
Funny complaint recording. Then it was the store's fault, of course, for not having an arrow on the box

Upside down logic

Actual recording of a complaint phoned in by a man who bought a packaged pizza at a supermarket and thought it had no topping. He was holding it upside down.  

The store tried to turn it right, but he insists never-the-less that it was the store's fault for not having a label indicating which side of the pizza is up.


No topping on your pizza? Turn it over before complaining
by Jerry_L


Update: May 7, 2009 @  01:16 GMT

Got $9.2M To Throw Away?  How About A Painting With Nothing More Than 8 Black Lines?  Only $1.15M Per Line
A waste of money?  Seems black and white to us

Here is a picture of a painting that just sold at Sotheby's 2009 Art Auction for $9,266,500.  
A picture with 8 lines goes here


It would be fine if someone spent over $9M for something worthless if that $9M would do some good.  But when it's just passed from one rich dude to another rich dude it's a sad waste.  If the money was used to buy $9M of groceries or cars or something where it was put back into the economy, we wouldn't mind so much.


Update: May 4, 2009 @  23:41 GMT

Big Meeting??  Slides? check! Projector? check! Turned off Screen Saver?  Doh!
31 second vid.  Not safe for your work either

Titillating look into the mind of a man who forgot to turn off his screen saver.

Not safe for your work either.

Turn off your screensaver before the big meeting
by Jerry_L






Local UK Council Orders 6-year-old To Stop Making Pebble Dams In A 2 Inch Deep Creek, Citing Flash Flood Danger
`We can't have people doing this sort of thing willy-nilly'


A 6-year-old boy was ordered by a local UK council to stop building pebble dams in a 2 inch deep creek because, they claim,  the pebbles could cause a "flash flood." 

The boy's father, Rob Johnson, was left stunned. "Daniel doesn't make proper dams.  It's just a few pebbles in a row that water flows around."

But the Nettleham Parish Council is sticking to their story, "
We can’t have people doing this sort of thing willy-nilly. We are very concerned about the potential consequences of ­flooding."

It seems the creek is not the only thing that runs shallow in Nettleham.


Sunday Express  2-May-09
Click here for original story



Lazy Florida Thief Phones Area Fast Food Restaurants Asking Them To Bring Him Cash.  No, He's Not The Bonehead.  It's Been Working Like A Charm! 
Employees had no idea they shouldn't deliver cash to someone who simply asks for it

Someone in Clay and Duval Counties in Florida, has simply been calling local McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King and Subway restaurants and telling employees that he either owns the store or is the District Manager,  and that they should leave money for him at various local locations, including, one time, some mailbox somewhere.  And deliver it they did, having no idea what-so-ever that it was a trick, if you even want to dignify this by calling it a trick.

Some incidents have been averted now that the police have been informing employees that just because someone says they own the restaurant, it doesn't mean they really do.  


The Gainesville Sun (Florida)  25-Apr-09
Click here for original story


Update: April 26, 2009 @  16:24 GMT

Bone Chips
26-Apr-09

Some bone chips in the fractured world of boneheads:

  • A Pleasant Lake, Indiana, man feared that the bullet he found could be dangerous in the wrong hands.  So he placed the 22-caliber bullet onto a rock and smacked it as hard as he could with a hammer.  Then it was the bullet's turn.

    "I smacked the bullet and fell down and blood came pouring out. I was hitting it to smash it. I didn't expect it to go bang.   I suggest nobody do it."

    Wayne TV (Fort Wayne, Indiana) 24-Apr-09
    Click here for the original story

  • A series of unfortunate events: A mom accidentally sent a lewd picture and lewd text  to her sixth-grade daughter's cell phone.  The girl was then suspended from school for having racy material.

    WHIO TV (Dayton, Ohio) 24-Apr-09
    Click here for original story

  • Worcester, MA, paramedics forced a heart attack victim to walk down 3 flights of stairs to reach the ambulance.  The family's claim over this was so unbelievable that at first the complaint wasn't taken seriously and therefore not investigated. But eventually, when all the cover ups were ripped away, the paramedics admitted to it and admitted to falsifying the records.  Sadly, the victim, Charles  Rondeau, died an hour after reaching the hospital.

    Worcester Telegram & Gazette (Worcester, Massachusetts)  26-Apr-09
    Click here for original story

  • Favorite Internet headline:

    Proposed bill would give police the power to decide who can walk into bars. Soon they'll want control over the other types of jokes too

Update: April 25, 2009 @  15:07 GMT

Man Is Billed $62K By Cell Company To Download Wall-E.  Realizing How Embarrassing This Is, They Reduced It To $17K
That bunch of Verizon workers who follow that guy around in the commercials?  It's not what you think.  They want his wallet

So, you purchase a data card for your laptop that gets you access to the cellphone network and you decide to download a movie. You figure that whilst it will probably be pricey, it's not like it's going to cost hundreds of dollars.  And you'd be right, of course.  It will cost you thousands of dollars.  Sixty-two thousand dollars, actually, if you do it from another country.


Verizon network chasing man to sneak his wallet
Pictured here is a man hastily avoiding the Verizon network people who are following him around to grab his wallet


The phone company says it cost them $17K to download the movie.  

In all fairness to Verizon, the article doesn't mention the actual phone company, although it could very well be Verizon, because they all charge these same outrageous rates.  And, yes,  it isn't the cost of the movie, per se, but the cost of the time on the Internet, but still...

So, let's reason this out.

The reason people fall into this trap is that they assume that their phone company wouldn't be stupid enough to pay someone $17K for a movie and so something like this couldn't possibly happen to them.  But not only are the phone companies dumb enough to pay $17K for a movie but they think you're dumb enough to throw in an extra $45K just for them.

Back in my day, a "carrier" was someone like
Typhoid Mary.  Today a "carrier" is what you call a cell phone company.   In either case, it still refers to parasites.


ARS Technica  24-Apr-09
Click here for original story

Hospital ER Staff Leaves Collapsed Man Outside Their Door And Calls 911 Instead, Citing Patient Safety Concerns
"Emergency Room Personnel at City Hospital apparently aren't equipped to deal with an emergency"


A man in a hospital gown who collapsed just outside the emergency room door of City Hospital in Saskatoon, Canada, was left on the ground while ER staff phoned up 911.  "There was no attempt on their part [City Hospital ER staff] to assess the patient's condition, to get a gurney or back-brace to the scene, or even to rush out and triage the patient."  I prefer to use the word "victim" instead of "patient."

When stupid people control the hospitals

The city says this is standard procedure.  That the staff at the emergency room are not trained to deal with medical emergencies.  They say that if the staff leave the hospital they might hurt themselves or the victim.  Better the man should die or suffer unnecessary injury.

The Canadian Health Minister, Don McMorris, in response, says he is going to contact Canada's 12 health regions and explain that common sense needs to be used when following procedures.  Good luck with that!


The Star Phoenix (Saskatoon, Canada) 22-Apr-09
Click here for original story

Update: April 18, 2009 @  14:55 GMT

Bone Chips
18-Apr-09

Some bone chips in the fractured world of boneheads:

  • If shooting an anterless deer (a doe) is illegal, and you go ahead and do so anyway, if you decide to escape notice by using epoxy and lag bolts to attach  fake antlers to the doe, make sure they don't wobble when inspected.  And pick a reasonable antler size.   Not ones so big it appears the doe had hormonal problems.

    Burlington Free Press 13-Mar-09
    Click here for original story

  • iGiveUp: Today's bonehead award business news concerns an ongoing trademark dispute between two iPhone application companies who both had the same bright idea of creating an application which makes farting sounds on your iPhone.  iFart and and "Pull My Finger"  are arguing over the right to use the term "pull my finger."

    This has an air of friendship-in-the-making. They should join together, split the 10s of dollars in profits and enjoy their obvious compatibility.  iPhone technology at its best.

    Slashdot  17-Apr-09
    Click here for original story


  • Gnosjo, Sweden, officials are upset that a municipal employee was rewarded for 25 years service with a toilet (the employee requested it).

    "A memorial gift should be something you remember," said Steffan Nilsson, HR Head (no pun intended). "Is someone supposed to sit on a new toilet and think back on their years with Gnosjo municipality?"

    Future gifts will be necklaces, bracelets or a "nice crystal vase."  

    UPI Odd News  17-Apr-09
    Click here for original story

  • Apparently this does need to be said.  If you loose something underneath your couch, it's never a good idea to use a cigarette lighter as a source of light.  The good news is it's no longer dark on the spot where the couch used to be.

    Des Moines Register 16-Apr-09
    Click here for original story

Update: April 17, 2009 @  02:20 GMT

Taking Pictures While Visiting London? You Better Believe That's An Act Of Terrorism
The only image you get to  keep of London is a  bad image of the police

"There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people." -- The Gospel of Admiral Bill Adama


69-year-old Austrian tourist, Klaus Matza, was snagged by two London Metropolitan police officers after they saw him take pictures of London attractions, forcing him and his family to delete their London photographs and to register themselves as potential terrorists.  The police officers claimed the pictures would help support terrorism.

"If you can't beat them join them. " - modern day London police terrorist philosophy.

"I've never had these experiences anywhere, never in the world, not even in Communist countries," said the frustrated Matza.

What's developing is not a pretty picture.


The Guardian (UK) 16-Apr-2009
Click here for the original story


Did You Survive A Mass Shooting?  Don't Forget To File A Grievance For Missing Your Lunch Hour
"A lot of people lost more that day than just one hour"

14 people were left dead  after a shooting spree on  April 3rd in Binghamton, NY.  Yet, one man, who remained inside the Department of Social Services, safe and sound, felt that during the shooting someone should have been concerned about his missing his lunch hour and so he filed a formal complaint demanding that he get paid for the missed hour.

"A lot of people lost a lot more that day than just one hour," said Broome County Executive Barbara J. Fiala.  She vowed to fight it, adding that she was both disappointed and embarrassed.

The request was denied by the county on the grounds that keeping employees safe neither violated state labor laws nor union agreements.

Gannett via PressConnects 14-Apr-2009

Click here for the original story


Update: April 14, 2009 @  01:37 GMT

"The Aroused Elephant Ruined My Honeymoon Because He Made Me Feel Inadequate" And Other Travel Complaints
"The beach was too sandy"


Now we can all enjoy the vacations that dumb people take, thanks to Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents, who keep track of the bonehead complaints they receive from returning travelers.

Dumb and feeling inadequate is no way to go through life, son.

For your enjoyment, tales of people's dumber vacations:
  • A man who said an aroused elephant ruined his honeymoon by making him feel inadequate. 
  • "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea.  The children were startled."
  • "The beach was too sandy."
  • "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
  • "There are too many Spanish people in Spain."
The article has more, including the woman who blamed her pregnancy on the hotel bed.

News.com.au (Australia)  13-Apr-2009
Click here for the original story


Got A Pine Tree Growing In Your Lung?  It's More Likely Than You Think

A weird extra report


28-year-old, Artyom Sidorkin, of central  Russia, had a 2 inch (5 cm) fir tree growing inside his lung.

Lung with 2 inch fir tree
Sidorkin's little firling

Apparently the hapless Sidorkin had breathed in a seed or small bud.  He sought medical help for severe pain and because he was coughing up blood.  Initially doctors suspected cancer but their suspicions changed when the biopsy contained "green needles."


MosNews (Moscow) 14-Apr-2009
Click here for the original story


Update: April 5, 2009 @ 16:23 GMT

Don't Lower The Drawbridge After 30 Seconds If Ships Need 60 Seconds To Go Under
First the ship had one bridge, then two bridges, and then no bridges.  1:45 video


The large vessel, Windoc, while passing under the Allenburg bridge in Ontario on August 11, 2001, was given 30 seconds to go under the drawbridge.  But it needs 60 seconds, at least.

Amazingly nobody was hurt, the $6M cargo was fine but the ship was a total loss.

It's not just cars and trains that need to contend with bridges being down, apparently.

A single use of an inappropriate word may make this not safe for work.


Update: April 1, 2009 @ 20:57 GMT

TV Station Needs Censor Array Adjustment After Being Fooled Into On-Air Birthday Announcements For "Anita Lay," "Willie B Hardigan" And Others
Brought to you by our friends in Kirksville, Missouri


KTVO in Kirksville, Missouri, probably because there isn't enough local news to fill a half hour, will wish anyone a "Happy Birthday" or "Happy Anniversary," without giving it a thought.  Apparently.

Some tricksters sent in some obviously fake  names and got them to say things that people in Kirksville, Missouri, may not often hear on the air..

Among those recognized on this special day included:
  • Craven Moorhead
  • Dixie Normus
  • Mike Hunt
  • Aster & Emma Rhoids
  • May Anne Naze
  • Willie B. Hardigan 
  • Anita Lay
And they almost got him to say "huge erection."

Here is the broadcast.  You may not want to play it at work.



Update: April 1, 2009 @ 19:52 GMT

Brought A Mobile Phone That You Found To The Police?  You Better Believe That's An Immediate Arrest With Fingerprinting And DNA Swab
Gives new meaning to "being in right trouble"

Paul Leicester, 18, an A-level college student, found a cell phone and turned it over to the Merseyside Police in Southport, UK.  Oh, that's good!

No, that's bad  because he was immediately arrested for "theft by finding."

"
The teenager was kept  by Merseyside Police in Southport police station for four hours and had his fingerprints taken, along with a DNA swab and a photo for police records."  He was eventually released.

And what says Leicester about the incident?  "I thought I was doing the right thing and had it thrown back in my face.  'I would not go to the police in future.'"

That's some mighty fine police work there, Merseyside.  Great job building community trust.

By the way, the police chief recently won a WOW! Award for premium customer service.   Here chief, another WOW! award for you, as in "Wow, what a git!"


UK Daily Mail   1-Apr-08
Click here for original story

Update: March 28, 2009 @ 18:44 GMT

Men's Room Mugger Decides To Rob Convention Attendees, According To 300 Police Officers At The Police Convention
The mugger chose a former police chief as his first (and last) victim


A Pennsylvania mugger decided to hang around a convention center's men's room during a police convention, waiting for a victim, with the first turning out being a former police chief.  Oh. If only there was a way to quickly find a police officer to arrest him.


Associated Press  28-Mar-08
Click here for original story

Update: March 27, 2009 @ 08:38 GMT

Want your students to win swim races?  Do you: 1) teach better technique, 2) build up stamina, or 3) throw a live crocodile into the pool?
"One girl described the experience as `absolutely terrifying'"

Australian swimming coach, Mark "watch your butt" Davies, says his secret to getting his young swimmers to "beat the clock" is by having a hungry crocodile chase them in the pool.

Croc in pool picture


But don't worry.   He has it all mathematically figured out.  
"Davies says he checks the croc's swimming speed first, and makes sure the swimmer has enough of a head start that the crocodile can't really catch up. "  What could possibly cramp his plan?

CNN 9-Oct-08
Click here for original story

Update: March 22, 2009 @ 09:26 GMT

Man Sues Himself, Another Man Sues Magician For Stealing God's Power, Plus 13 Other Schmucks
Stories of 15 court jesters

First  is Robert Lee Brock who sued himself for $5 million dollars for violating his own religious beliefs by committing a crime.  And because he couldn't possibly pay,  he said the state would have to pay it on his behalf.  It was thrown out.

Next is Christopher Roller who sued both magicians, David Copperfield and David Blaine, for not getting his permission first (he's God, you see) before performing certain magic acts which he said required his Godly powers to achieve.

In the article you can read about a man who sued Michael Jordan for looking like him (we gave a Bonehead Award for this a while back), a town in Turkey, named "Batman," which sued Warner Brothers for using their name without permission in Batman movies, of course,  and so many more.



Paralegal  19-Mar-09
Click here for original story

Update: March 18, 2009 @ 09:53 GMT

Resist The Urge To Burgle The Neighborhood While Wearing An Ankle Monitor Recording Every Detail Of Your Whereabouts
"We were able to ... pinpoint right down to the rooftops"

A Florida teen, free pending his trial for burglary under conditions that he wear a police location monitor, decided to burgle the neighborhood, according to the police computer which said, "and then he went to this house, and then this house, ..."

ABC Action News 13-Mar-09 (Tampa, Florida)
Click here for original story



Don't Complete Something Called The "Dartmoor Devil Endurance Event" If Claiming You Were Too Ill To Answer Your Bosses Phone Calls For 92 Days
Saying attempts to reach you was a "campaign of bullying" will not get your job back either


A UK IT worker, Andrew Hamlyn, 54, who claimed his severe lung infection made him too sick to answer his bosses phone calls and emails for 92 days, and who was photographed completing the 66 mile bike challenge called the "Dartmoor Devil Endurance Event," 21 days into his "illness",  claimed unfair dismissal in court.

He claimed,
  • his doctor told him to do it to help his recovery,
  • attempts by his bosses to see if he was OK was a "campaign of bullying," and that
  • his fear that he was going to be fired on the first sick day led him to do this.  You think?
The judge didn't buy what he was peddling.

The Daily Mail (UK)  6-Mar-09
Click here for the original story


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Update: March 3, 2009 @ 20:47 GMT

British Giant, Tesco, Refuses Alcohol Sales To Parents
The fun never begins until stupid people do law enforcement

British super giant retailer, Tesco,  is committed to trying to stop adults from buying alcohol for minors.  So ...

Tesco refused to sell 2 bottles of wine to Karen Dumelow, 46, because she might give them to her 14-year-old daughter who accompanied her shopping.  Dumelow appealed the cashier's refusal to 3 senior staff members at the Portsmouth store, but they all agreed it was too risky to sell her the wine.

But wait!  There's more!

When she left the store and immediately returned without her daughter, what do you think?  Yep, no problem selling her the wine!

"I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was crazy. Do you have to leave your children at home if you want to buy alcohol now?" said Ms. Dumelow.  "The part that incensed me the most was that literally one minute later I bought the wine from the same till - it was unbelievable."

After she sent a letter of complaint, Tesco sent her an apology for hiring  stupid people.

"We work hard to prevent under-age sales, including proxy sales where adults purchase alcohol for under-18s. However in this instance we got it wrong and sincerely apologise.'"


The Mail (UK)  03-Mar-09
Click here for the original story


Update: March 1, 2009 @ 19:05 GMT

Try Remembering To Print On Both Sides Of Your Fake Money When Buying Drugs From An Undercover Officer
It did buy extra jail time though

A 21-year-old Erwin, Tennessee, man, whose wit is a half dollar shy of a full dollar, was arrested on drug and money counterfeiting charges after he tried buying OxyContin from an undercover police officer using money he printed himself.  Much of his fake money was only printed on one side.

Dude, you are doing it all wrong!


MSNBC  28-Feb-09
Click here for the original story

Thank you Kathy Perry !!





Irish Police Could Not Figure Out How A Man With 50 Traffic Violations And 50 Different Addresses Was Never Caught
The answer was under their noses all the time

Irish police have been trying, in vain, to catch a Polish man who had seemingly racked up 50 traffic violations, providing 50 different addresses, and who somehow managed to escape capture at every traffic stop.  But the mystery has been solved.

Have a look at this Polish driving license.  If you were an Irish police officer, what name would you be inclined to write down?

Polish driving license here


If you said "Prawo Jazdy," then go stand over there with the Irish police.

Prawo Jazdy is indeed the man they have been looking for.  But "Prawo Jazdy" in Polish means, "Driving License."

The European Union should standardize the driving licenses of its member countries.


Australian Broadcasting Corp  20-Feb-09
Click here for the original story



Update: February 28, 2009 @ 03:16 GMT

Alabama Ordered To Pay $177K Back Pay To A Woman For A Non-Existent Job
A "Justice is blind, but only because it has its head up its butt," bonehead award


Montgomery, Alabama, County Circuit Court Judge Truman Hobbs Jr. has ordered Alabama to pay former state legislator Sue Schmitz $177K in back pay for being "improperly fired" just days after she was convicted in Federal court of several felonies including receiving pay for the non-existent job.

"We're going to do everything we know to do to keep from paying Sue Schmitz one more dollar," said Bradley Byrne, chancellor of the state's two-year college system.  "We have more uses for $177,000 than giving it to someone who did nothing to earn it."

Schmitz was found guilty Tuesday of three counts of mail fraud and four other counts, one being the collecting of pay for the non-existent job.

Gives new meaning to the term, "criminal justice."


The Birmingham News (Alabama)  27-Feb-09
Click here for the original story



Don't Answer Your Cell And Start Explaining What Went Wrong In Your Prior Operation While Your Next Eye Surgery Patient Is Awake On The Table
Patient bolted from the table and didn't return.  Doctor to get HMO award.

A patient ran from the operating theater when his eye surgeon answered a cell phone call and began explaining what went wrong in the prior operation.  The patient, who was awake and lying on the table at the time, didn't like what he was hearing and he ran from the theater.

Having a "Doctor on call" did not, this time, comfort the patient.


Northern Territory News (Australia)  20-Feb-09
Click here for the original story


Update: February 16, 2009 @ 00:43 GMT

"Doing Your Business" In A Police Station Men's Room Stall Never Refers To Your Phone-Based Drug Business
Man's drug business is in the toilet ... again.

A 24-year-old man was arrested by the Everett, Washington, police when several officers overhead him making drug deals on his cell phone whilst sitting in one of the men's room stalls.

LOOs lips  got him in trouble.


The Herald (Everett, Washington)  29-Jan-09
Click here for the original story

Send A Check Written On An Unwashed Kitchen Table?  That's A Full Hazmat Alert With Quarantined Police And Evacuation
I'm not pudding you on!

A Colorado Springs, Colorado, man who simply describes himself  as "not a clean person," caused a full hazmat alert, which included the quarantining of two police officers, when he paid his $35 parking ticket with a check he wrote out on his "messy kitchen table."  Apparently some Jello-brand instant vanilla pudding powder came along for the ride.

The proof of the pudding

The alert continued until special infrared sensor equipment could be called in which then identified the unknown powder as pudding powder.



ABC, Channel 7 News (Denver, Colorado) 13-Feb-09
Click here to read the original story

Update: February 12, 2009 @ 01:37 GMT

Slow Witted + Fast Train = Lost Sole
He could have lost his soul, but fate settled for his sole instead.  16 second video you'll watch at least twice










Q: How thick is the back of a shoe?
A: The distance between a slow witted man and a fast moving train.

19 seconds you'll want to watch at least twice


Update: February 05, 2009 @ 21:58 GMT

Ooh.  Empty Parking Space. Better Make A Jump For It
World's worst parking job.  Notice how close the back of the car is to the edge.  1:19 long video


Daily Cartoon from CartoonStock.com


All stories are copyright 2009 by Gerald Lerman. All Rights Reserved.

Materials in the Bonehead Of The Day Award, until further notice, can be freely used in print and radio media so long as credit is given to "Bonehead Of The Day Award at http://Bonehead.Oddballs.com"


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